That Time I Was Attacked

March, 2026. I was driving home after the vet told me that fixing my dog's ears was going to cost anything from $5000 to $8000. I stopped at a red light.

From my periphery I saw a man waving aggressively at me and yelling at me. I was confused as to why and just gave him the finger.

Then he chucked a water bottle at my car, swerved in front of me to brake check me and when I turned left on to a small road he started following my car.

I parked up and got out to try to talk with him and de-escalate. Big mistake.

He walked up to me yelling, shoved me and began punching. We ended up in a scuffle and he ran back to his car when some bystanders came out of their house. I sat down on the grass as he drove off, threatening me not to record. I cried uncontrollably and breathed in pure panic. I didn't feel safe until the police arrived ten minutes later.

I grew up in nice neighbourhoods and was never really exposed much to violence. And by violence I mean real violence. Not the clean, theatrical kind in movies and video games or the refereed kind in professional fights. I mean real chaos, things can go horribly wrong type violence. This event really traumatised me for months and was a big bubble popping moment into how dangerous the world can be if someone wants to hurt you physically. There's not much that can stop them in the moment. That's the nature of crime really, there's not much stopping the criminal.

Let me do my best to describe what panic feels like to someone who's rarely experienced it. First your reaction to it is completely subconscious. It can be a visual cue of an incoming person. In my case it was an auditory cue of him yelling at me. Then the reasoning part of your brain completely shuts down and you just feel blank in the head. Next you get tunnel vision and lose all your peripheral vision, your memory becomes choppy and your senses feel like they are operating wirelessly outside your body, lossy, choppy and hard to control. For me it kind of feels like when I'm dreaming and can't control my body well, not sure if this applies to other people.

Then you get huge chemical spikes of adrenaline in your system. The adrenaline spikes your heart rate and largely removes your sense of pain. Your breathing becomes difficult to control and you can start to hyperventilate. You can start to feel weird as blood is re-allocated to your big muscles and your body can feel hard to control. You get a surge of energy that makes you feel restless. Your whole body can start to shake and tremble. Your mind will start racing.

The irony here of course is that all these changes can signal to your body that you are in danger and you get more stressed, entering a vicious cycle. The easy way to understand this is that under perceived threat, you go full lizard brain. This is when the fight, flight, freeze response kicks in. I was stuck somewhere between fight and freeze, which is the worst of both. I'd escalated by giving him the finger and getting out of the car, then froze when it actually turned physical.

Since the incident I had signs of PTSD. Fear of driving, sensitive to loud noises and strangers, paranoia for my safety. I had two psychologist sessions and felt a lot better and over time it settled down.

Something they don't teach you at school is that the police aren't perfect. The constable responsible for my case repeatedly failed to follow up with me and never arrested the guy, despite having his plate number. I'm not saying this to make you jaded and shake your fist at the sky. It's that the help you expect after the fact doesn't always come, and in the moment it definitely isn't there. The only things you really control are how you react and how you recover.

It's really hard, but at some point you have to let go of it. When it's in your head, the only person burdened by the attack and the inaction of the police is you, and you have to weigh up how much of your time and energy it's worth. Most of the time, it's best to just live your best life and move on. Pretend a bird shat on your head. No need to go bird hunting. I decided not to chase it further and put that energy into my own life instead, which is a big part of why I went looking for how to handle these situations better.

After the incident I did some research into how to better handle myself in future situations like this. The first thing I found was that what I felt in the moment and afterwards is very common. Even professional emergency responders get overwhelmed all the time and we as humans are all susceptible, especially to truly unexpected incidents. In moments like this, our thinking and problem solving brain is limited and we have to rely on our lizard brain.

This is where training under pressure and ensuring the appropriate responses are well rehearsed pays off. Handling emergencies is a practiced skill. Much like learning to play the guitar, just thinking about it doesn't do you much good. One thing this reminds me of is that if something like this ever happens to you, people are going to be armchair experts with a lot of advice and make you feel like shit. In my case it was the ambulance guy, and most people in my life really, who pointed out what I did wrong and how I should've done X and Y. My psychologist on the other hand was an expert in handling trauma victims and assured me that these people don't know what they are talking about. It's a bit like saying "just don't be sick". In the moment you are running on pure primal autopilot and can barely get a thought in, let alone make the correct decisions about things you've never imagined would happen to you.

This isn't hindsight about what I should have done in the moment. It's what the research says to drill beforehand, so your lizard brain has something to fall back on. It starts with 4 4 4 4 box breathing. Breathe in over 4 seconds, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4, repeat. Practise it for any stressful or overwhelming situation in your life. It lowers your heart rate, stops you from holding your breath or hyperventilating, and cues your body to calm down.

Then you fall back on what you've rehearsed. Most people never practise this, but a self-defence class with pressure testing helps. Check your surroundings and either escape or get somewhere safe, like your car. If you can't escape, try to de-escalate. If they keep closing the distance, strike as hard and fast as you can with whatever skills you have. Kick them in the balls, whatever works. Stay in fight mode. Don't do what I did and waver or freeze. Keep going until you're safe, and scream and yell to get attention.

Then earlier this month, a neighbour yelling at me activated my panic response like some sort of Winter Soldier code. I went into a spiral in my head and felt like I was about to faint from the adrenaline dump. Nothing happened this time and I just went about my walk ignoring him. Thankfully I was safe and could sit down on a bench to unwind.

It turns out that what I thought was behind me wasn't fully. My brain is still conditioned to be hypersensitive and fearful of yelling and aggression. I tried to use it as an opportunity to work and act under the adrenaline and practice shadow boxing after I had calmed down a bit. It was a wake up call for me to re-evaluate how I'd come a long way but still had work to do.

Overall handling crises and staying calm is something you can always work on. I'm getting better at it and actively trying to drill and improve myself, but right now the idea that I can panic and fumble in critical situations still weighs on me. That weight is probably a good thing though, to remind me to get off my ass and work on staying fit and calm. I am now committing to training weekly at the gym and also practicing breathing techniques and mindfulness occasionally. I've also noticed that talking to myself helps me calm down and get out of my own head, so experiment and find what works for you. Hopefully it all pays off.

Also, no one is perfect. If you fumble, whatever happened happened. It's best to forgive yourself, move on, and try to not fumble next time.